When Life Happened Page 19

  “How’s the packing going?”

  “Um…” he returned his attention to the tools in the drawers “ …good. For only two people, they sure did accumulate a lot of stuff.”

  “I was just thinking the same thing about my sister and her husband. They’re moving ‘a small amount’ of their stuff in as we speak. I needed some fresh air. Although, I’m not sure the air is fresh here. It’s weird being here.”

  “It’s weird going through their stuff. I feel like I’m invading their privacy. Then there’s the part of me that worries we’ll come across something they don’t want anyone to see.”

  Parker chuckled. Levi liked the innocence in her laugh as much as he liked how the resting position on her face was always a slight smile. Kind. Warm. Welcoming.

  “You thinking drugs or sex tapes?”

  He also liked how she read his mind, yet didn’t seem to judge him.

  “Both. And it won’t be me who finds it. My mom or Tess will find it.”

  “My mom would not survive finding a sex tape of me. Drugs? Yes. But not sex. She has an aversion to it. It’s a miracle my sister and I are here. If I’m honest, I think she’s the Virgin Mary reincarnated. It might explain why we look nothing like our dad.”

  Levi laughed at her candor. “By the way, my mom is going through all of the stuff in Sabrina’s closet. If we can tear her away from clinging to everything that smells like Sabrina, you’re more than welcome to take any of her clothes or shoes. They’re just going to be donated.”

  Parker stiffened, her natural smile pulled into a slight frown. “I’m … uh … good. Her clothes are too small for me. I’m certain everything is a petite size. Not fitting for my height. And I know her shoes are three sizes smaller than my tens. But thanks for offering.”

  “No problem.”

  Pulling out another stick of turkey jerky, she bit off a piece then tossed the rest to Rags.

  “What are your job plans? Have you had a chance to think about it?” Levi asked.

  “I have a degree in communications. I’d like to use it, so I think I’m going to submit my résumé to the local radio and television stations. If they’re not hiring right now, I’ll have to get another temp job, but at least it’s a step in the right direction.”

  “What kind of position are you hoping for?” Levi taped another box shut and moved it to the pile.

  She rocked back and forth on her heels, hands interlaced behind her back. “Sports reporter.”

  “Good choice. Not weather girl?”

  “No way. I suck at geography, therefore I have no business pointing to a map on live television.”

  “I loved geography.”

  “Yeah?” She shrugged, looking around the garage with a slight grimace as if something caused her pain. “Then maybe you should be a weather girl. But … I have to go. It’s very weird being here with their stuff, his van … just everything. I don’t know how you’re doing it.”

  Levi leaned his backside against the work bench. “I’m not sure the day will come where it’s easy. I just want to be done. Go home. And try to adjust to life without them. Sabrina and I didn’t see each other as much since she took over the firm, but I still texted her every day. Sometimes it was nothing more than a gif of some guy’s hairy ass, or a picture of me on the golf course bragging about taking the day off—on a Tuesday.” He laughed.

  Parker grinned, the kind of grin that made him want to do funny dances, tell his best jokes, and master the art of making her smile. Maybe he didn’t want to be done. Maybe seeing her made enduring the house of memories a little longer worth it.

  “I’m sure you know what I mean. I’d imagine you and Piper probably talk every day as much if not more than Sabrina and I did.”

  Her eyebrows gathered as she chewed on her lower lip. “Actually, we had a falling-out a couple years ago. They just moved back here from Kansas City. After two years, we’re talking again, but things are still a bit … rough.”

  “Really?” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You haven’t talked to your sister in years?”

  Parker nodded, nose wrinkled.

  “Must have been something pretty bad. You’re twins so she couldn’t have stolen your boyfriend, so—” Levi’s eyes shot open wide as Parker’s cringe revealed that was what had happened. “No. Not possible.” He shook his head a half dozen times.

  “Yeah.”

  “But that’s not who she marri—” He bent forward as Parker’s cringe intensified. “Oh, ouch! Who does that?”

  “My sister, apparently.”

  “Your ex-boyfriend aka brother-in-law and your pregnant sister are going to be living with you for several months?”

  “So you see it too? It’s weird and wrong, and just … well … wrong.”

  “You two seemed fine this morning.”

  “Given the events of the past few days, I’m too emotionally drained to deal with her. That, and you were there offering to help move my stuff from my room to the smaller bedroom. You helped kick me out.”

  Levi fisted his hand at his mouth and snickered. “Oh shit. I had no idea. Why didn’t you say something?”

  “And put you in the middle? Were you going to take my side?”

  “Probably not at the time. I would have slithered out the back door with Rags before the claws came out. But had I known the story then, yes, I would have marched up the stairs and nailed you to your, or …” he closed his eyes and shook his head “…nailed your bed to the floor.” Levi blew out a breath of how-the-hell-did-I-say-that? “Your dresser too, but of course not … you.” His voice was barely a whisper by that point.

  Parker pinched her lips together, wide eyes fixed on him.

  Levi held out his hand. “It’s been a pleasure knowing you. I wish the circumstances had been better. Now, I think it’s best if we part ways before my twisted words cause me any more humiliation.”

  He blamed his sister’s and Gus’s deaths on the jumbled state of his brain. Lack of sleep and not having taken the opportunity himself to properly grieve also played large roles in Levi’s Lewd Comments Show.

  “Thank you. It has been an unexpected pleasure and relief from … everything. And your offer to nail things was quite flattering, but the wood floors were recently refinished, and my bed is new so … no nailing.”

  His temperature rose a good ten degrees around her. He tugged on his shirt to pull it away from his sweaty body and circulate some air before he overheated.

  “Here.” She dug into her pocket and handed him several more jerky sticks. “For the trip home.”

  He took them and set them on the bench. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t eat them.” She squinted one eye with her head turned a fraction to the side. “Because they are so good and if you try one, you’ll eat all of them, and then you won’t have any when you need them for Rags.”

  He made a criss-cross over his heart. “Promise. I’ll stay out.”

  “Take care, Levi Paige. And …” The happiness on her lips wilted. “Again, I’m very sorry for your loss.”

  It still didn’t feel real. He figured the first time he went to text Sabrina then it would feel real and knock him on his ass. “Thank you, Parker. And … if you’re ever in the Scottsdale area, look me up.”

  He wasn’t listed in any phone book or directory. How would she look him up? It felt like the right thing to say at the moment, and part of him, hell, all of him meant it.

  “Job first. I don’t have the funds to travel anytime soon. But if I hit the Powerball, I’ll definitely stop by on my way to California.”

  “What’s in California?”

  “The ocean. I’ve never seen it.”

  “You’ve never seen the ocean. How old are you?”

  “Twenty-six.”

  “How is that possible?”

  “Iowa is in the middle. No ocean.”

  “And you’ve never left Iowa?”

  “No. I’ve ventured to a few other states, but those are in the mid
dle too.” She waved. “Tell your parents I said bye and safe travels.”

  He nodded slowly as he tried to comprehend her lack of travel for someone her age. High school. College. Where did she go for spring break? Summer vacations?

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “How’s Levi and his parents?” The stealer of rooms, perched on her leather sofa with her feet up, book in hand, greeted Parker when she walked in the door.

  “Piper.” Parker needed to practice saying her twin’s name without gritting her teeth. Old habits.

  “Did you happen to notice anything about him?”

  “Such as?” Parker hopped onto her rebounder and started jumping.

  Piper fidgeted with the end of her long braid. “Um … like that he’s quite nice to look at.”

  “Caleb been letting himself go? Doesn’t surprise me. I thought he looked a little flabby in the midsection. He should switch to lite beer.”

  Piper’s lips pulled into a hard smile. “I mean you. Back before you disowned me as your sister, I would have been able to say, ‘Holy shit, Parker! He’s ridiculously hot. Sexy blue eyes, fluid and reflective like the ocean or sky or something mesmerizing, strong jaw, brilliant smile, and that body. Parker, his body! Did you see his body!?!’ And you would have blushed like you always do because we both would have known you definitely saw his body. But …” She shrugged. “Now you’re just bitter, and apparently you have no radar for that anymore.”

  Parker saw Levi, but she felt Gus. Pieces of him lingered everywhere. She could close her eyes and taste him on her lips, smell the hint of leather and spice cologne in the crook of his neck, feel every muscle of his back beneath her fingertips, and hear his “I love you” echoing over and over.

  He was the wind. The moon sketching shadows. The shiver along her skin at night when she shut off the lights and whispered his name. He promised her everything and left her with nothing. How could nothing—a deep, hollow hole—feel like something so tangible, like her pain had its own pulse.

  “I wonder how it happened.” Parker kept bouncing, eyes fixed to a scratch on her newly finished floors, probably from Rags.

  “How you lost your radar for hot guys?”

  Parker shook her head, words slow and monotone. “How the accident happened. What caused it?”

  “Oh,” Piper’s tone softened to match the gravity of Parker’s question. “Dad heard it was a semi-truck driver. He fell asleep at the wheel. Twelve cars were involved. Five casualties total.”

  She rotated on the rebounder, her back to Piper. Drawing in a shaky breath, she wiped the corners of her eyes and smiled. Parker smiled as big as she could, until her facial muscles burned, chasing the tears away and soothing the throb of grief.

  “When were you going to tell me?” Parker cleared her throat and massaged her cheeks.

  “About the accident?”

  “About you and Caleb.”

  “Moving here?”

  “Screwing around behind my back.”

  “Parker,” Piper said with an edge of pain laced in her voice.

  Parker turned again, bouncing even higher. “Had I not caught the two of you, when were you going to tell me? I mean, surely you weren’t going to wait until the rehearsal dinner, right?”

  “We weren’t.”

  Choking on a laugh of disbelief, Parker stopped jumping. “You weren’t? What does that mean?”

  Piper frowned, closing her book and setting it aside. “You were engulfed in your quest to find a job. Driving here, there, and everywhere for job interviews—sometimes gone for entire weekends. Obsessing over finding a house for you and Caleb. Talking marriage when he hadn’t even proposed. And Caleb still hung around the house even when you were gone. Dad would cook up brats, and they’d eat and drink beer while mom watched some series upstairs. I’d go out and sit by the fire pit with them, but eventually Dad would get tired and go to bed. So Caleb and I would drink more beer and talk about stuff that didn’t involve marriage or finding the perfect house.”

  She glanced over at Parker, a somber expression on her face conveyed more regret than Parker had ever seen before.

  “One night we had a little too much to drink. Caleb helped me to my room. Then he was going to call a friend to come get him. A few hushed giggles turned into a kiss. We both stared at each other through glassy eyes like it was a complete accident. We didn’t say a word, but it’s like our minds shut off and something physical took over. My brain was so fuzzy, I just remember thinking over and over, ‘This is so wrong.’ But I couldn’t stop. I felt so completely out of control.”

  Parker swallowed hard, expecting to taste bile, but she didn’t. Piper’s story was her story. She was Piper. Gus was Caleb. Desire. She knew the addiction. The power. The guilt.

  “That wasn’t the night I walked in on you.”

  Piper shook her head. “No. It happened again and again. Like a drug.” Her cynical laugh shook her shoulders a bit. “Remember when Mom told us giving up our virginity before marriage would basically make us sluts? We’d slip into a habit of casual sex. It wouldn’t be a first. It wouldn’t be special. Like after you commit a sin once, it’s easier to do it again and again. That’s what happened.

  “The crazy part is we barely talked about it. We’d chat with Dad like we’d always done. He’d go to bed and we’d go to my room and … do the same thing. Very few words. Just like rolling up your sleeve and plunging the needle into your vein. The guilt was there for two seconds, and then it disappeared while we ‘got high’ so to speak.”

  Parker thought about her sister’s explanation. She had never asked for it before that moment, but she imagined it. However, in her imagination, it involved love and intense emotions. Feelings that couldn’t be denied. It never involved too much alcohol and casual sex. “But you loved each other, right? I mean, you’re married.”

  “I do love him, and he loves me.”

  “That’s a weird answer. We’re talking about the past. We’re talking about why you had no intention of telling me, which makes no sense.”

  “It was sex,” she whispered.

  Taking a step down from the rebounder, Parker moved closer to the sofa. “As in just sex?”

  Piper nodded.

  “But you married him.”

  “I was pregnant.”

  “What?” Parker’s head whipped back.

  “A week after you caught us, I found out I was pregnant. No one knew, not even Mom. Caleb, being Mr. Responsible, proposed. Me, being scared out of my fucking mind, said yes. Two weeks later I miscarried.”

  “Jesus, Piper, why didn’t you say something?”

  “I was ashamed and embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone’s pity.”

  “You didn’t love him.”

  “I cared about him.”

  “Not the same thing.”

  She blew a slow breath out of her nose. “I wanted it to mean something. I ruined you and Caleb, so I wanted something to come from it. Love justified it.”

  “But you didn’t love him!” Parker ran her hands through her hair.

  “You didn’t know that!” Piper’s hand went to her belly as she took a deep breath and sat back again.

  “Me? Are you serious? You married him for me? Do you hear yourself? Can you see how ridiculous that was?”

  “I thought if you could see that it was for love, it would make it easier to forgive him. You’d think his heart was in it and it wasn’t just some random guy act of not being able to keep his dick in his pants.”

  Parker laughed, a crazy woman laugh. “He couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Why were you so damn concerned about him if you didn’t love him? Why did it matter to you if I forgave him or not? He pissed me off, but you’re the one who hurt me. Don’t you get that? You cheated on me. You broke my heart. You destroyed us! I didn’t need you to pretend to be happy. I needed you to ‘for real’ feel some remorse and make an effort to repair us, not … marry some dick with legs that you didn’t love and who would be like a f
ucking misspelled tattoo that you’re too broke to have removed!”

  “A dick with legs? A misspelled tattoo?”

  Parker and Piper turned. Caleb stood in the doorway to the kitchen, hands in his pockets, a weary look on his face. Piper held out her hand. Caleb walked over to her and caressed his fingertips along her palm, then bent down and pressed a kiss to her lips and then her belly.

  “I wasn’t head-over-heels in love with the man I married.” Piper’s smile grew wider until it reached her eyes as she looked up at Caleb and his expression matched hers. “But I’m deeply in love with the father of my baby and the life we now have together. All it took was taking my conscience out of the equation, letting go of the guilt, and welcoming the chance at love while it was standing right in front of me.”

  That had Parker tasting bile. Too mushy. Too … everything. “You guys are messed-up. I hope all of your weird traits are recessive in my nephew. Otherwise, he is doomed!”

  Piper stood and wiped some of her red lipstick from Caleb’s lips. “I’m going over to Mom’s. She had cookies in the oven when I last talked with her.”

  He perked up. “Then I’m coming too.”

  She shook her head and patted his chest. “I’ll bring some back. You stay and explain to Parker why you cheated on her too.”

  Parker headed up the stairs. “I’m done talking for today.”

  Caleb started his own protest.

  “Why did I bring it up?” Parker whispered, plunking down on her bed. “I need a job. I need to move out of Iowa. I need to forget my past before I drown in it.” She ran her hands through her hair.

  “Hey.”

  She looked up and sighed. “You’re off the hook, Caleb. I don’t want to know. It won’t change anything. I’m perfectly satisfied knowing the fairy tale between the two of you was a hoax.”

  “I love her.” His shoulder rested against the doorframe as he slid his hands into the pockets of his white shorts.

  “Well, you should. She’s carrying your baby.”

  “I thought I was missing out on something.” His brow tensed as his gaze affixed to his feet. “We’d been together for so long. High school. College. I’d lost my autonomy. Everything was a ‘we’ not an ‘I.’ I felt like my future was all planned out and the pressure began to suffocate me. But I liked your family, and I actually enjoyed being at your house the most when …”