The Life That Mattered (The Life Series Book 1) Read online

  CHAPTER SIX

  After a shower, a little makeup, and drying my hair straight, I slid on white leggings, gray ankle boots, and a long-sleeved floral boho blouse. The cab arrived a few minutes early, but I was ready.

  Ready to pretend I didn’t go skiing.

  Ready to forget my best friend thought of my boyfriend naked on a need-to basis.

  Ready to drink myself into a better mood.

  The bar was a quick ten-minute ride. When I walked inside, live country music greeted me just before Tami pulled me in for a hug outside of the bathroom. “Glad you made it. I’m grabbing another drink. Can I get you one?”

  “Yes.” I shrugged off my jacket.

  “Wine?”

  “Something stronger. It’s been one of those days.”

  “Well, shit. Sorry to hear that. I’ll get you fixed right up. Everyone’s over at that corner table. Karaoke starts in thirty minutes.”

  “Karaoke?”

  “Yes. The bar just acquired a karaoke machine.”

  I liked karaoke. Maybe the day would end better than it started.

  When I glanced to the table, Ronin’s eyes were already on me. His lips curled into a tiny smile as his gaze slid along the length of my body. When I approached the table, he stood because he was a true gentleman. “Take my seat. I’ll find another chair.”

  “Stay. I’ll pull this one up.” Noah slid a chair over next to the empty one beside him. “Tami will want to sit by her and talk her ear off anyway.”

  Ronin gave me a look, the silent “is that okay” look.

  “Thank you.” I sat in the chair Noah pulled up. It put me at the opposite end of the table from Ronin … and Vanessa. Yes, she was perched next to him, right next to him because we were all pretty crammed in there.

  I’d met everyone there, so no introductions were needed, and I didn’t get much more than a few nods and smiles because Vanessa was in the middle of a story.

  “So it was a crazy day …” She sighed.

  I must have missed her telling the crazy part.

  “But the day ended well. I got a little chuckle when Evelyn lost her ski and Ronin, being the true hero he is…” Vanessa looped her arms around his arm, giving him an endearing side hug “…had me bring him a sled to pull her down the hill.”

  Everyone chuckled, eyes on me and Ronin.

  He winked at me. I returned my best fake smile before grabbing a menu to decide what food I should order to help absorb all the alcohol I needed.

  “Here you go.” Tami set two shots of something—I didn’t even know or care what—down in front of me before wedging between the chairs to sit down.

  “Thank you.” I downed the first shot.

  Tequila. Good choice.

  When I glanced at Ronin, he gave my drink a single peaked brow.

  Yes, buddy. I’m drinking, probably more than originally planned because I don’t like Vanessa sitting by you. And my grown-ass, thirty-four-year-old self shouldn’t have an issue with it. But I do because it’s been a shitty day. I’m human. And insecurity is a bitch I’m not immune to.

  “Song choices. Sign up at the bar if you’re interested.” The waitress set a piece of paper in the middle of the table with a list of songs.

  Vanessa plucked it from the table before anyone else had a chance to grab it. “Oh! I love this one.” She pointed to a song, showing Ronin. “You have to sing it with me! Please!”

  “Sure.” He shrugged before taking a swig of his beer.

  You’ve got to be shitting me.

  The one thing I could do was sing my ass off, not as well as my shower Sinatra, but I could definitely carry a tune. Yet, Ronin said yes to a duet with Vanessa. I took the second tequila shot.

  “Pace yourself.” Tami laughed, sipping her wine.

  Ronin’s one-peaked-brow of concern turned into two, but I ignored him, quickly ordering more shots from the waitress. That brought him out of his chair, working his way around the table to me.

  “Come here.” He smiled, holding out his hand so the rest of the table didn’t question what was up.

  I stared at his hand a few seconds, already feeling a buzz from two shots on an empty stomach. Then my gaze flitted to Vanessa. She watched me while sipping her beer. Placing my hand in his, I let him help me up and drag me toward the back of the bar to the one empty barstool on the corner.

  “Water,” he said to the bartender, lifting me onto the stool and wedging himself between my legs, hands on my thighs. “What’s up, Evie?” His head cocked to the side.

  I shrugged, dragging my sluggish gaze around the room. “Nothing.”

  “Two shots in less than five minutes doesn’t seem like nothing. Try again.”

  I forced my eyes to meet his gaze. To meet all of him—his dark blue jeans hanging just right on his waist, black leather unlaced boots, and a fitted white button-down with the sleeves rolled up showing off his sinewy arms. And don’t even get me started on how good he smelled, like pine and cedar. My mountain man.

  “I like karaoke.”

  “Okay,” he replied on a soft chuckle, handing me the water the bartender just set on the counter.

  I took a few swigs before handing it back to him.

  “Then you should sing.”

  I frowned. “I didn’t know you sang, except in the shower. And now you’ve agreed to sing with Va-ness-uh”

  “Va-ness-uh?” He smirked at me. “Why are you saying her name like that?”

  “Like what?” I blew a few strands of hair away from my face.

  “Like you don’t like her.”

  “I just met her today. Why wouldn’t I like her?” Such a great question and completely rhetorical.

  “Exactly. So … are you saying you want to sing with me too? We can sing together.”

  Too? No. Instead? Yes. But I couldn’t tell him that. It would’ve come across like I didn’t like her, which was crazy because I’d just met her. And she’d done nothing wrong. Except touch Ronin. But Tami hugged Ronin. And Lila had touched him in a friendly way, hugged him, seen him naked having sex with me.

  Not helping!

  “I’m not in the mood to sing.” I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to me, brushing my lips over his.

  “No?” he said in the same deep voice he used to whisper dirty things to me in bed. “What are you in the mood for?” He kissed me.

  I wrapped one of my legs around him, hooking his leg with my foot, deepening the kiss, moaning because those two shots had stolen my self-control. That … that was what I needed. Ronin brought me back to center. He was balance and reason to my instability and doubt.

  “We’re up!” Vanessa interrupted, tugging on Ronin’s arm like she couldn’t see us kissing.

  He pulled away, looking only at me. “I think I’m going to pass on karaoke tonight.”

  “What? No! It’s one song. We’re up now. It’s less than four minutes. Evelyn, tell him to get his ass on stage with me. Don’t you want to see him sing?”

  I rubbed my lips together. Confrontation was not my thing. “It’s … yeah. Fine.”

  Ronin took a step away from me as Vanessa incessantly pulled his arm. “You sure?”

  I smiled when I couldn’t make my head submit to a nod. Well, I wasn’t sure it was a real smile. It felt more like a grimace. A painful grimace.

  He let her pull him up on stage, and I made my way back to the table.

  “Have you heard him sing before?” Tami yelled in my ear over the start of the music.

  “Yes, but just in the shower.”

  She laughed, jerking her chin toward the two new shots the waitress delivered while I was at the bar with Ronin. “Going big tonight, huh?”

  I stared at the shots. It was fine. I didn’t need them anymore. Ronin kissed me. That soothed my nerves and numbed my insecurities more than alcohol.

  “Whoa! Interesting song choice.” Tami rested her hand on my arm.

  I glanced over at her. “I haven’t heard it.”

  �
��It’s…” her nose wrinkled “…sexy.”

  Turning back to the stage, I waited to see what she meant by sexy. Vanessa started. Her voice was okay. Then Ronin chimed in. His was better. Deep and sexy. Seductive. Or maybe that was just the words. Yeah … it was a sexy song about sex!

  Vanessa sang her lines, touching him—his face, his chest.

  I downed one of the two shots, feeling Tami’s eyes on me, but I didn’t look her way. Nope. I couldn’t look at her while Vanessa tried to make love to my boyfriend in front of the packed bar.

  She sang about temptation, hooked her finger into the waist of his jeans and pulled him closer.

  And … I was out of there. After taking the last shot, I grabbed my handbag and stood.

  Whoa! Lots of tequila. I’ve got this.

  Tami grabbed my arm.

  “I’m going to the ladies’ room,” I yelled.

  She nodded. “Want me to come with?”

  I shook my head and faked another smile. “Be right back.”

  My feet took me in a not-so-straight line to the bar where I handed the bartender money for my shots and slipped on my jacket in the clumsiest fashion. Risking one last glance at the stage, I made eye contact with Ronin—Vanessa grinding her pelvis on his hip and leg.

  His eyes narrowed.

  I hiked my bag onto my shoulder and swayed a bit as I meandered to the door. The crisp night air stole my breath, but the tequila kept me warm.

  Cab. I needed a cab or Lyft. Or Uber.

  Digging my phone from my purse, I tried to get the screen unlocked with my face, but it didn’t unlock. I stumbled a bit. Those shots sure did their job. I tried to enter my code. But I entered it incorrectly.

  “Stupid fucker …” I mumbled at my phone.

  “Where are you going, Evelyn?” Ronin’s voice sounded behind me.

  I didn’t turn toward him. My wobbly legs continued to zigzag me down the sidewalk as I fought with the code to my phone. “Home, rock star. Going home.”

  “How many shots have you had?” His boots scuffed along the sidewalk a few steps behind me.

  “Not enough to watch Va-ness-uh fuck you in front of our friends and a roomful of strangers. Nope. Not enough tequila in the world for that.”

  “Really, Evie? ‘Fucking me’ is what that looked like to you? Don’t you think your impression of that is a little overboard?”

  “No!” I whipped around and hurled my phone at him.

  Tequila was pissed off. Yes, I blamed the drinks.

  “Jesus!” He bobbed to the side to keep it from slamming into his face. The muscles in his jaw flexed.

  My cupped hand flew to my mouth. I couldn’t believe I did that.

  Whoa!

  It landed on the ground, testing the durability of the case and screen protector.

  I swallowed my own shock of that knee-jerk reaction and dropped my hand from my face. “I don’t think my feelings are overboard. They’re mine. You can’t tell me how I’m supposed to feel about shit! Okay?”

  Ronin glared at me for two seconds before turning back to pick up my phone. “You told me it was fine to sing with Vanessa.”

  Men. Such complete dumb fucks. Even the good ones were so incredibly stupid sometimes.

  “I was practically s-seducing you on that bar stool.” My words slurred.

  Oh, tequila …

  “And you took that as me thinking you should go sing with Va-ness-uh?”

  “But you said—”

  “No! Uh-uh …” I shook my head, and it only intensified my dizziness. “I was put on the spot. How stupid are you to think I really wanted to watch that shit on stage? You should have said no. You should have taken me home the second we started kissing at the bar. Instead, all eyes were on me. Insecure Evelyn. Will she forbid Ronin from singing with Va-ness-uh? Is she possessive and needy? Not okay. Not okay at all!”

  Okay, tequila. I might hate you about now. You’re stealing my control. You’re jumbling my thoughts and loosening my tongue.

  “I’m sorry,” he said so softly I barely heard him.

  I shook my head. “For what?”

  He held out his arms for a few seconds before surrendering them to his sides. “For everything. For insisting you ski with me today. For not asking Vanessa to switch seats with you so we could sit together. For not taking you home after that kiss. For getting up on that stage with her. For putting you in that situation.”

  He tried to steal my fight.

  “You can’t just apologize for everything.”

  He blew out a forced breath. “Well, I am.”

  “No …” I rubbed my temples. “Th-this isn’t over. You can’t make this right when I’m on tequila.”

  The ground started to move, or at least that’s what my legs thought, so they stumbled two steps to the side.

  “Okay, Evie.” Ronin caught me and carried me to a taxi. “You can finish being mad at me in the morning.”

  “Put me down! You smell like her. And her makeup is on your face and shirt! Yuck! Put me down.”

  He didn’t. Instead, he tucked me next to him in the back of the taxi, and that’s all I remembered.

  The next morning, I woke to an empty bed in my home—a three-bedroom, A-framed log cabin that my grandma gave me. I also woke to a throbbing head and a guilty conscience. Sadly, I remembered the worst parts from the previous night, or the previous day in general.

  The covers were pulled back on the other side of my bed, so Ronin must have stayed with me. Lucky him.

  I smelled coffee but couldn’t bring myself to make the walk of shame quite yet. He had the day off, as did I, so there was no need to rush anything. Instead, I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and wrapped up in my plush hot pink bathrobe before padding down the hardwood floor hallway to the kitchen. A fire crackled in my wood-burning stove.

  “Hey,” I said, twisting my face into a cringe.

  Ronin glanced up from the sofa and his book. He read all the time. Actual paperback books on everything from history to autobiographies to fictional suspense. “Good morning.”

  His shirtless body engulfed the length of my sofa, which wasn’t fair. The urge to be mad at him clung to my ego. But there he was, shirtless, in a pair of black lounge pants sitting inappropriately low on his waist. Inappropriate because he knew those fancy carved abs and happy trail temptation were my kryptonite, which sent my thoughts into some pretty inappropriate territory—just like the tattooed symbols down the right side of his torso. He said they represented life and second chances. I felt pretty sure it was the name of an old girlfriend in a language I couldn’t read.

  The teapot was already hot. I tossed a tea bag into a mug and filled it with water. Warm oatmeal waited for me in a sauce pan, so I dished up a small bowl of it as well.

  “You can sit by me. I took a shower last night and scrubbed all the makeup and Vanessa smell from my body,” he said as I started to sit in the recliner across from the sofa.

  “You should put on a shirt.”

  He smirked. “Is that so?”

  “Yes.” I chose the recliner over the sofa.

  He scratched his chest, then lower … then just under the waistband of his pants.

  Jerk!

  I sipped my tea and ate my oatmeal while Ronin resumed reading his book.

  “You make me want to stay,” he said without looking up from his book. If I hadn’t been the only other person in the room, I’m not sure I would have known he was talking to me.

  Setting my tea and oatmeal on the coffee table, I hugged my arms to my chest. There had been this gradual shift between us over the previous weeks.

  A slipping.

  A falling …

  I’d watch TV and stroke his hair while he rested his head on my lap, reading a book. He hummed and whispered, “I love that.”

  I knew he loved more than that.

  Whenever his schedule allowed, he dusted the snow from my car and started it for me, waiting by the driver’s door with a hot thermos af
ter I closed up shop. A grin stole my face as I took the thermos and brushed my lips over his. “I love this,” I whispered.

  He knew I loved more than that.

  Ronin eyed me as my thoughts drifted to all the things we loved about each other. I was supposed to go see my mom and grandma that day, but … it was early. Ronin said something that couldn’t go unexplained. I made him want to stay. What did that mean? Before I asked him to elaborate, I had some explaining to do too.

  “I’ve never been jealous before,” I said to nothing in particular, focusing over the sofa to the front window like he spoke to his book.

  Ronin slid a ripped strip of paper—his makeshift bookmark—between the pages of his book.

  “I’ve had other boyfriends, but I’ve never felt like I did yesterday. Here’s the ugly truth, and I’m not one bit proud of it or even trying to defend my actions—they are on all accounts unjustified and without any defenses. A simple case of this human behaving badly. Yesterday, I hit a low point after I lost my ski. Then this pretty woman brought a sled so you could haul your terrible-skier girlfriend down the mountain. And she ruffled your hair.”

  I closed my eyes and shook my head. “Yes. It was a hair ruffling. And it’s your hair not mine. But I wanted to claw her eyes out for touching you. Then she retold the story last night. And it is funny, but it wasn’t funny coming from her. It wasn’t funny to me that she took every opportunity to touch you. Granted, I don’t really know her. My anger was at myself for feeling that way, for feeling like you’d see something great in her during one of my not-so-finer moments. Confidence is sexy. God knows it drew me to you because you are the epitome of confident. But last night, I was the least confident person in the bar, which made me feel like the least desirable person. And that really sucked.”

  Ronin rubbed the back of his neck, gaze glued to the coffee table between us, his brow a little wrinkled. “I had an accident when I was twelve. An electrical shock.” He held up his hand to show me the scar I’d asked about several weeks after we met. At the time, he shrugged and said, “Just a boy being a boy.”

  He continued, “It caused some speech issues for a while. Kids made fun of me. It was a blow to my confidence. I felt like my friends were embarrassed of me. For months I was the least confident person in every room. So … I get it.”